census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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