the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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