i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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