you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
