Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
