so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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