Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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