I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
did you just send me my own nude
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
