wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
