Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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