Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Still dying that you shit outside
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
