Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she peed on how many people?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
