the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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