So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize