I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have aggressive nipples.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
