Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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