You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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