I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We don't watch enough power rangers
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
