You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
