He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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