my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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