Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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