Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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