Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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