what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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