hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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