So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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