I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
