There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
