We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
