the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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