I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
