i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
