Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize