Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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