Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
