I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
P.S. I can't hear my feet
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
