If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
