Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
