yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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