I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
