I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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