i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
