and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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