My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
