Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
