The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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