If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
