So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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