spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just pee around me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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