oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize