her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
