i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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