You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
