Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
