Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
