she kept yelling 'call me bella'
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
