Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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