no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
