living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
