I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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