How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
