stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize